Because I kept thinking about my research project. And all of the stuff I will have to do. It’s not the work I’m worried about. It’s the going to Spain alone thing. Every other time I’ve gone as a group or with my dad. But this time I have to go alone. And find everything alone. And not die. Or get robbed. Or die. And thinking about this made me want to barf. Seriously. My upchuck reflex was working overtime. And then I started thinking about how I applied to a grad school in Budapest. BUDAPEST. Honestly, me? Sometimes I wonder where the hell I get these ideas. Yeah I like Europe. I actually fucking LOVE Europe. But Hungary? I don’t speak Hungarian! I would have to travel there ALONE. Not that I would have to learn in Hungarian, everything at the school is in English. But honestly. Oh my god. Commence hyperventilating.

Sometimes I think I’m a giant coward. And then the next second I think I’m ballsy to the point of ridiculousness.